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Horny and I Know It- Part Two (A Richard fic with Aljc100)
Here is Part Two!

Peering out into the corridor, Richard’s heart did a little dance of joy when he noticed Dr. Oliver leaning against the nurses’ station, looking through Noah’s chart. He put down his coffee cup as he began scribbling the odd note, his brow furrowed in concentration. Richard took a deep breath and sauntered slowly up to where the doctor was standing. Richard racked his brain for a good come on line. Why could he never remember this shit from the book he was reading? He should have taken notes, written the best lines on his arm, whatever.

Attempting to appear casual, even as he felt his stomach flutter as he came closer to Dr. Oliver, Richard perched lightly on the edge of the desk. He had just started to ask Dr. Oliver for the time, when he jumped with nerves and sent the doctor’s cup of coffee flying everywhere.

“S – sorry. Oh my god – I am so, so sorry. I’m such a klutz,” he stammered, grabbing a tissue off the nurse’s desk and dabbing at the front of Dr. Oliver’s jeans, which were now covered in caramel latte. As Richard’s face grew redder and redder, his hand accidentally brushed up against Dr. Oliver’s crotch and he lurched forward, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. Jesus – by the feel of him, the guy was hung.

Feeling Richard hesitate just a fraction too long, Dr. Oliver glared down at him. “Oh, for the love of God!” he snapped impatiently, grabbing the tissue out of Richard’s hand and starting to clean himself up “Are you a complete moron? And what are you even doing here anyway?”

Richard’s heart sank. Clearly Dr. Oliver didn’t even remember him.

“I – er, I’m Noah Mayer’s friend,” he replied hesitantly, looking down at his feet. “I’ve come to take him home,“ he added. “I was actually just looking for the nurse to come and show Noah how to put his eye drops in. Then we’re all set, right?”

“Right. Hey, you!” Dr. Oliver barked at a timid looking woman who had just scuttled past them. At the sound of the doctor’s voice, she stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face them, clearly terrified. “That’s right, you. Nurse – Nurse Taylor,” he continued, narrowing his eyes.

“Actually, it’s Nurse Ph – “

“Whatever – I’m really not interested,” Dr. Oliver shot back, silencing her with a wave of his hand. “Do you think you could possibly go to room 108 and take Mr. Mayer through the various aftercare procedures?”

She didn’t say a word, but scuttled off in the direction of Noah’s room, head down. Richard hung back, hoping to strike up a conversation with Dr. Oliver, but he had already gone back to his charts and didn’t even give him a second look.

“Well,” Richard said eventually, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I guess I’ll just … “

Dr. Oliver looked up from what he was doing and raised an eyebrow, apparently surprised to find that Richard was still there, before grunting dismissively and turning back to his work.

Back in the room, it had taken Noah several attempts, and a lot of swearing, to get the hang of putting in the eye drops, but eventually he’d managed it. But, as soon as the drops started to take effect, Noah had started rubbing his eyes and groaning in agony. He’d stumbled towards the sink and leaned over it, pulling the weirdest face Richard had ever seen.

God, I really hoped that wasn’t Noah’s sex face, Richard thought, before his conscience kicked in and he hurried off to find Noah some help.

By the time he got back to the room – well, Noah could see again!

Of course, the first thing Noah did was reach for his phone to call Luke, which was a bit of a slap in the face. Noah insisted that it was nothing more than a kneejerk reaction, and that he was no longer in love with Luke.

“But I do want to surprise him that I can see, “ Noah said. “Would you be able take me over to Lily’s?”

“Um, sure.” Richard nodded, putting the car into drive.

As soon as they pulled up in Lily’s driveway, Noah couldn’t get out of the car fast enough and raced off in the direction of the house. His feelings stung, Richard had no choice but to follow him, bags in hand. He hoped he wasn’t about to see a Noah and Luke reunion kiss, nothing would turn his stomach more than that. When he reached Noah though, he was just standing there on the porch, squinting through the window, shoulders hunched and a look of total confusion on his face.

“You okay?”

Noah gestured towards the window.

“Who is that who’s in there with Luke?”

Richard ducked his head slightly, his eyes following the direction in which Noah was pointing. Holy shit. There were Luke and – Richard could hardly believe it – Dr. Oliver, going at it like a couple of teenagers. Dr. Oliver’s hands were everywhere, roaming all over Luke’s chest as though he was trying to memorize every inch of his body, while Luke’s fingers were twisted tightly into Dr. Oliver’s auburn curls.

Richard had to stifle a laugh, quickly disguising it as a cough, and shrugged sheepishly.

“Uh, that’s your doctor, dude.”

Richard knew that he should look away, but he just couldn’t. His eyes were inexorably drawn to Dr. Oliver’s ass, which flexed and strained against the fabric of his jeans as he ground his hips against Luke’s, and Richard – embarrassingly – found himself more than a little turned on. None of the self-help books he’d read had covered anything like this, that much was certain.

“That’s Dr. Oliver?”

“Told you he was hot.”


An hour later at the bar, Richard let out a giant sigh. Some date this was. Noah kept staring daggers at Luke and Dr. Oliver, and hadn’t said a word to Richard all freaking night. Dr. Oliver only had eyes for Luke, too. And Luke…well shit, Luke did look awesome in that blue V-neck shirt, even Richard had to admit that much. It wasn’t like he couldn’t understand why Noah and Dr. Hottie both wanted him. Richard glanced down at his own clothes.

He bet Luke had never been caught wearing ugly striped shirts in his whole life.

“Listen,” Noah said, tapping Richard on the arm. Richard felt his heart buck eagerly. Finally, Noah remembered he was there.


“Thanks for the ride and everything. You’re a real friend and all. But you can go now.”

Richard wanted to kick his own ass for the way he’d just gotten up and left, but not as badly as he’d wanted to kick it when Noah had called him back for a ride home.

Had they ever been going out at all? Richard had thought so, he’d thought they were dating, but the way Noah had reacted to the whole situation had confused him, making out as though all the things he’d said and done to encourage Richard had just been figments of his imagination.

“Hey man, thanks,” Noah said, ducking his head down as he got into Richard’s car. ”I’m still not supposed to drive. You’re a real pal.”

Shrugging, Richard called himself every kind of idiot for picking Noah up. Flicking on the radio, he drove down the empty stretch of road. Noah shifted in the seat next to him, his face set, arms folded at his chest, his mind clearly still on what happened with Luke.

“So,” Richard asked, “Is Luke with Dr. Oliver now?”

Is that why you called me back here? He wanted to add, but bit his lip instead.

“Who cares?” Noah said, his face twisting with anger. “Ever since Luke came into my life, it’s been one chaotic nightmare. He ruined my relationship with my father, sabotaged my film career, and now he’s cheated on me. “

“I thought you hated your father?”

“Maybe. But if Luke had never seduced me, I might have worked things out with my dad.”

“Oh.” Richard knew Noah had problems. When they’d first met in PT, Noah had told him a bunch of stories about his father and Richard had sympathized, thinking Colonel Meyer explained a lot about why Noah was so uptight. The accident and Noah’s blindness explained the rest.

Richard’s own parents had been alright about his coming out. His dad had taken the news calmly. Of course, he was always calm since the doctor put him on Oxytocin for his back. Richard’s mother hadn’t been surprised at all. She’d only made him promise to never wear eyeliner like Adam Lambert and go on American Idol.

Richard promised that easily, since he didn’t sing, and the one time he’d put on makeup, back when he was six and his mother had walked in on him in her drawers, he’d looked like the world’s ugliest girl.

After leaving Noah, Richard drove the short distance back to his own home. He sat a long moment before he went into his house, listened to three more songs on the radio, before shutting off the engine. What a crappy night in a long line of crappy nights. It was only a little after seven, and the stupid thought of all the hours left to kill before he could escape to his own room and crawl into bed depressed him.

Unable to resist, he checked his cell to see if Noah had called to apologize for using him like a taxi service. Seeing no messages, Richard stuffed the phone into his pocket and walked inside.

“I thought you were on a date?” His father said, his eye still half on the television as he flicked through the channels. Richard had told his parents that he was picking Noah up and would be home pretty late, so having to admit that the date had never even got started was pretty humiliating, and he could feel his face start to grow hot.

“Not anymore,” Richard said softly. “We’re over.”

“What? What was that? You broke up with that Noah?” Richard’s mom asked and, as he gave a miserable nod, she ushered Richard into the kitchen, where Haley sat finishing her dinner.

“What happened?” His mom asked. “He seemed like a nice boy.”

“Nothing-maybe-I don’t know. Ma, I’m not hungry.”

“Nonsense.” She piled Richard’s plate up high with angel hair pasta and her homemade meat sauce. Food was always his mom’s Band-Aid for any trouble.

“Yeah. He broke up with me though.”

“A blind guy dumped you?” Haley exclaimed, almost choking on her mouth full of food. “Figures.”

“Actually, he’s not blind anymore,” Richard admitted, and his sister held her stomach as she laughed even harder.

“So, honey, just let me get this straight,” his mom exclaimed, handing his sister a napkin and giving her a pointed look when she snorted. “Noah broke it off with you?”

“Yeah,” Richard shrugged.

“Well, I never liked him. Good riddance, that’s what I say.”

“Thanks, Ma.”

“Anyway, you’ll find somebody new. Who wouldn’t want you? You’re adorable.” She took Richard’s face between her hands and squeezed his cheeks with her fingers. “But in the meantime, honey, would it hurt you to get a haircut? Some decent shoes? ”

“I’ll try,” Richard said, twirling some pasta with his fork.

Okay, he knew he wasn’t the catch of the century. Richard wasn’t the type of guy people noticed when he came into a room. For a start, he spent too much time deep-frying his brains playing X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse and not enough time on his appearance. But still, Richard had hoped for something with Noah, at least a few kisses, a hand job, something. But jeez, Noah had proved to be a dead end. All Richard had gotten for weeks of effort was a nasty case of blue balls.

As his lousy – man, make that horrible – day finally ended, Richard found he couldn’t sleep, but kept going over all the day’s events in his mind. He thought about every conversation he’d ever had with Noah, too, wondering what had gone so wrong. After tossing and turning for a while, Richard replayed the memory of the smoking kiss between Luke and Dr. Oliver, and then he really couldn’t sleep.


A week went by, and thanks to the Oakdale grapevine, Richard heard that Dr. Oliver was spending all his time alone, and then Noah left him a voice mail bitching about Luke and how they were done. All of which got Richard thinking, it sounded like Luke more or less dumped Dr. Oliver, and Richard was now in the same boat after the fiasco with Noah. Sure, he knew Dr. Oliver was way out of his league, but after being shot down by Luke he had to be feeling sad, lonely – horny. They could go out for a few beers together and who knows? Stranger things had happened, right?

Richard decided to go for it. He headed to Memorial, in the hopes of bumping into Dr. Oliver. When he finally found him, Dr. Oliver was sitting at a table in the break room, head bowed over a plastic tray.

Unfortunately, Luke was there too.

“That’s lunch?” Luke was saying.

“You don’t have to eat it,” Dr. Oliver replied.

It did look pretty hideous from where Richard was standing. It was all brown and lumpy. Richard guessed it might be some sort of meat, but hell, it was anyone’s guess what kind.

“Dr. Oliver, I was just about to invite you to lunch at my house,” Richard said, summoning up his biggest smile. He had been planning no such thing, really, but if there was one thing Richard prided himself on it was his knack of grabbing at any opportunity that happened to come his way.

His mother called it tenacity. His little sister called it desperation. Richard preferred not to analyze it too deeply.

“Your house?” Dr. Oliver replied, hardly even glancing up from his plate.

“I didn’t know you two were on such friendly terms?” Luke scrunched up his face.

Dr. Oliver said nothing but carried on eating, stabbing his fork several times into the meat.

“Anyway, I already invited Reid to my house tonight,” Luke added, a sudden sharpness in his voice. “For a family dinner.”

“Gentlemen, let me settle this little disagreement,” Dr. Oliver interrupted. “I don’t plan on going anywhere with either of you, because I have a perfectly good meal right here.” He chewed some of the meat.

“My mom’s Italian,” Richard persisted. “She makes pretty great food. We’re having tortellini.”

Dr. Oliver looked up quickly. “Italian?”

“Well, the food at my mom’s house is just as good,” Luke countered, his lower lip jutted out slightly.

“Oh, I know,” Richard nodded. “Noah’s told me all about your famous Snyder dinners.”

Richard wasn’t trying to be a smart ass; he was just repeating what Noah had said to him. Anyhow, he was too busy watching the movement of Dr. Oliver’s mouth as he chewed his food and that long throat as he swallowed. God, the doctor really was hot.

But Luke’s whole body tensed up at the mention of Noah’s name, and Dr. Oliver’s face became completely impassive, as though he was carved from stone.

“Reid ?” Luke said.


Luke’s tongue darted out of his mouth, and Richard noticed Dr. Oliver’s eyes instantly tracking the motion. “Are you coming or not?”

“Coming to your house for dinner?” Dr. Oliver choked out, shaking his head as he pushed away his plate. “No.”

“Why not?” Luke asked.

“Cause it’s a really, really bad idea. I’m a terrible guest. I’ll insult everybody. I’ll do all the wrong things.”

“Nobody cares about any of that.”

“Don’t they?”

Luke flushed, and Dr. Oliver looked at Richard.

“So, all things considered, I think I’ll take – um…”

“Richard,” Richard prompted.

“Richard,” Dr. Oliver nodded curtly, “up on his offer.”

“Yes!” Richard pumped his fist in the air.

Dr. Oliver stared at Richard as though he was a complete idiot, and Richard quickly lowered his hand.

“I mean, that’s awesome,” Richard said, trying desperately to recover the situation “I’ll call mom to put her tortellini and her lasagna in the oven. I’ll have her make lots.”

“Lasagna,” Dr. Oliver sighed, sitting back in his chair and rubbing his stomach absent-mindedly.

“Reid,” Luke hissed.

Richard looked from one to the other. He was beginning to feel like maybe he was intruding on something that was none of his business, but he still couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Well, Mr. Snyder,” Dr. Oliver drawled slowly, a strange, hard glint in his eyes. “It would seem we have separate plans.”

“Don’t call me that,” Luke pleaded.

Dr. Oliver looked sorry, but he didn’t say a word.

Richard felt as though the room might spontaneously combust from the tension radiating between them as they sat there, gazing at each other, both unwilling to back down from the unspoken challenge. Feeling uncomfortable, he cleared his throat noisily, but Luke and Dr. Oliver just kept on staring at each other, their eyes locked.

Richard let out a low whistle, still hoping to get their attention.


He might as well not have been there at all; Luke and Dr. Oliver were totally oblivious to his presence in the room. They were totally eye-fucking each other, and they didn’t seem to care who saw them. Richard wiped some sweat from his forehead, his heart galloping as he noticed Luke’s eyes skim down the length of Dr. Oliver’s body, then all the way back up again, before finally coming to rest on his Adam’s Apple. Luke wasn’t saying a single word – but he didn’t need to. And Dr. Oliver looked just as turned on, his gaze fixed on Luke’s mouth.

This might be embarrassing, but it was also pretty hot and Richard felt his own cock stirring as he wondered whether they might be into threesomes.

“Looks like we do,” Luke said finally, his voice low.

Dr. Oliver merely nodded, the corners of his mouth curling up.

With a frustrated noise, Luke turned to Richard. “Well then, I guess he’s all yours.”

If only that were true.

After Luke had gone, Dr. Oliver turned to Richard, apparently remembering at last that he was also in the room.

“Let’s be clear. I’ll go to your house and eat your mom’s lasagna. But under no circumstances will I make small talk. “

“Okay,” Richard gulped, slightly taken aback at Dr. Oliver’s bluntness.

“Nor am I in any way interested in seeing your etchings, listening to your CD collection, or knowing anything else about you.”


“In other words, I want to be absolutely clear,” Dr. Oliver stated firmly. “I do not – and never will – have the slightest interest in dating you.”

“How about just sex then?” Richard said, trying to act casual and giving Dr. Oliver an eyebrow waggle that he hoped looked suave like James Bond, but knew probably rivaled Groucho Marx instead.

A glimmer of amusement flickered in Dr. Oliver’s eyes. “You’re not as dumb as you look. “ He stood up, dumping his TV dinner into the trash. “But no. There’s only one man I want.”

“Well, if you felt that way about Luke, then you really shouldn’t have let him leave like that, man.”

“I never said I was referring to Mr. Snyder,” Dr. Oliver shot back, almost too quickly. He was trying to act cool, but Richard noticed how his eyes remained glued to the door, and he couldn’t quite seem to get that muscle in his jaw under control. “Besides, if he doesn’t know how much he’s worth, “ Dr. Oliver’s face went soft for a moment. ”If Luke can’t see what he deserves-“

Dr. Oliver’s voice cracked at the mention of Luke’s name, but then he stopped speaking altogether.

Looking slightly baffled, Dr. Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before turning to face Richard. “In any case, Luke is no longer my problem.”

For a moment, the two of them just stood there, that flicker of pain still visible in Dr. Oliver’s eyes. Richard got the feeling that Dr. Oliver could use a hug, but then Dr. Oliver turned and reached into his locker, pulling out the leather jacket that made him look so awesome. If only he’d been wearing his black jeans as well – still, Richard guessed the navy scrubs were the next best thing.

“Let’s go,” Dr. Oliver barked abruptly, throwing the door wide open.

“Whatever, dude.” Richard sighed, knowing he was whacking off alone tonight. Again.

At least his mother would be impressed, he’d brought a doctor home for dinner.